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Eating dinner with my family is one of my favorite times of the day. I have so many memories and associations with the dinner table. I think of family, food and sharing when I think of our dinner table. Yet the process to get there, actually making dinner and getting it onto the table, is often one of the least satisfying parts of my day. I can get stressed and irritable getting dinner on the table for myself, my son and husband. I can easily let myself think about it as a chore or burden and let my tiredness get in the way of making dinner just to make dinner. Instead I make it in an irritable rush, just to get it done.
On one of these days recently I recalled a book I've read, "The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake" which is a fictional story about a woman, a mother, whose emotions get stored in her cooking, and re-experienced by her daughter as she eats her mother's food. Just recalling this story shifted my perspective and made me consider what I was putting into the process of making dinner, the preparation for that time that I love when it's just us, eating and sharing our day and our experiences. I don’t want to put irritability and tiredness into the setup for dinner. I want it to be love and satisfaction. I want it to set the tone for our dinner table, which is a time to talk about our day and reconnect as we transition into an evening of family . I learn new things about my son and see who he is and who he is becoming when he shares stories of school and the playground. I am reminded of my husband’s talent for his work and his beautifully simplistic and ethical way of managing. Tonight, inspired by this book (reminded really), I am going to enjoy the preparation, AND the eating and talking, and just maybe even the clean-up.